Not sure what to think about this, excited but sad....?

I've been trying with my husband for 2 years now and nothing. We are both young and healthy..well as far as we know.. and our insurance wont cover us going to the doc for those types of visits either. I hear ya on the terrible ache to finally get the BFP...my sister-in-law was going in to the doctors to see about getting her tubes tied and found out she was pregnant, and my husbands first cousin who we are close with found out she was the same day...my mother-in-law kept saying how great it would be if we got pregnant that month or soon after. My sister-in-law just had her baby actually..even holding him I was just thinking how wretched it was making me feel that Im still trying and she didn't want this at all..and I feel terrible for even thinking that, but I cant help but die a little on the inside everytime I see a pregnant woman! 3 out of 5 of my best friends from high school have babies..two unintentional...while I was married and ready and waiting:(!!! I guess what Im trying to say is, I know where you're coming from!!..and it sucks.