I have been experiencing bipolar disorder and along with some schitzoaffective disorder according to physchiat?

ritst, I have been a pharmacist in USA and have worked under tremendous stressful situations and have also experienced some past traumatic tress syndrome which brings in repeated thought patterns of desperation and anxiety and uncontrollable mood swings. I believe in nartural and ayurvedic medications more than pharmaceutical or allopathic medications with many sideeffects. Being a pharmacist, I overthink when I get extremely stressed and disappointed from corporate pharmacy in america. I have been using seroquel, depakote, ambien, klonopin, and paxil to help with ptsd, but I am afraid of long-term effects and unable to concentrate. I am having fearful and suicidal thoughts and have gotten furstrated. I need your help and healing expertise with your guidance so my mind doesn't experience this fearful ptsd in my brain forever and make me feel incompetent and useless. It is hard to focus and work on ignment with creativity. Please contact me at 815-439-3444 or send me your answers through e-mail at sanjaymodhera@yahoo.com. I never used to experience these until I started working in the corporate structure of retail pharmacy. My mind wavers and become indecisive. Please guide and help so I can help a better mindful thoughts and confidence in myself.